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At Least Wednesday One-Liners Are Pretty

Girl to friend: I wonder what’s the difference between hard tacos and soft tacos. –Line at Taco Bell, Queens Mall Food Court Overheard by: NTA Guy talking to his friend: I don’t believe there is a...

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Ohioans Have Accents?

Comedy guy: I like your accent. Where you from?Tourist: Ohio.Comedy guy: You sound disappointed.Tourist: Have you ever been to Ohio?Comedy guy: Good point. –41st & Broadway

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Bipolar Teenagers Are Lousy Audiences, Anyway

Comedy club guy: Come see a comedy show, it's way better than next to normal!Teenage girl: Bitch, please. –Times Square Overheard by: Ali

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DIE HACK DIE

Stand-up “Comic”: So did you all hear this? Hitler was gay, apparently. Heckler: No, Hitler was Jewish! –Comedy Cellar, MacDougal Street Overheard by: Chris

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By “Picture” I Mean “Life-Sized Doll” and By “Wall” I Mean “Bed”

Guy: Hey, this might sound creepy but I have a picture of you on my wall.Jon Stewart: That is creepy. Do you live in a comedy club? –Cupcake Cafe, 18th & 26th

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Twenty Drink Minimum

Promoter guy: Stand-up comedy! Are you interested in seeing some stand-up comedy tonight? Hey, I’m asking you a question. Dude: Oh, no thanks. Promoter guy: Oh, well, we also have stand-up misery....

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And It Was a Tragedy

Comedy promoter guy: Gentlemen, are you interested in seeing some comedy?Guy: I’ve already seen your shitty show! –78th & Broadway

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Not as Gay as Their Lame Material

Comedy Club guy: Hey, do you girls want to come to a great comedy show? Girl: No thanks. Comedy Club guy: Oh, no, not with me. I’m gay. –Penn Station

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Paris, Is That You?

Guy: So how come you were late today? Girl: I really had to take a dump, otherwise my downward-facing dog was gonna be a non-housebroken one. –Broadway & Houston Overheard by: Daniel Motta

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And Take it From me, Comedy Shows Are No Fun!

Comedy show ticket hawker: Hey, come to a comedy show. It will be fun! C’mon! Gary Gulman: Dude, I’m Gary Gulman! –Outside IFC Center, 6th Ave

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